I have named myself Prime Minister of the “Anti-Myspace Coalition.”

The reasons behind this stance are hard-hitting and provacative, if few in number.

For one thing, the layout is atrocious. It’s as if whomever is in charge of Myspace features has no concept of spatial reasoning, which is not a good trait to lack if you’re in charge of web design for a company that has like 400 million users.

This brings us to reason number two. Included in those 400 million users is every single woman in my office. Most of these women are old. Half of them are pregnant. We have a busy office. How these women have to time hit up Myspace instead of working or going to Lamaze classes is beyond me.

Reason number three is related to the “stalkerish” aspects of Mypsace, though it’d be hypocritical of me to criticize Myspace on simply those grounds. Granted, I spend time on Facebook every day, though I’m not pregnant and I don’t have phones to answer, so whatever. No, my problem lies with the fact that Myspace is just as “stalkerish” as Facebook, only without the safety netting of having to be/have been enrolled in an accredited school.

And let’s face it, that safety net might be small, but it’s something.

So there. I’m anti-Myspace.

Bonus video: