Breaking News!


I go through stretches during which I can’t think of anything to write. As this blog is currently the only outlet for my writing (though hopefully that’ll change soon), it suffers accordingly when I have nothing to say. Well, unless I suck, in which case these periodic lulls provide you a welcome respite.

Anyway, this past week serves as an example of the flip side — I feel like all I want to do is write, which is good, in light of the following news:

About a month ago I met with two guys at Pegasus News about possibly writing for their website. In the words of founder Mike Orren, Pegasus News started as:

“a local news and information service dedicated to bringing you everything — and we mean everything — you could possibly want to know about the things that most interest you about the place where you live.”

As of right now, that means Dallas. Or D/FW, if you prefer. The Metroplex, if you really must.

So anyway, I got a story assigment today, about which I am disproportionately excited. I’m supposed to find out why consumers in Denton County, on average, pay 1/3 the cost for energy than do their neighbors in Dallas County. It’s about as sexy as spraining an ankle … and I couldn’t be happier.

My background knowledge is pretty extensive. In high school, (Coppell High School — Dallas County. Relevancy!!) I used to crank our air conditioner down to about 62 every night and then face the wrath of my dad in the morning. Whoops.

If you happen to be reading this and have extensive knowledge of the deregulation of the power industry, I’m all ears.

Until then, I’ll keep writing.

I joined MySpace (myspace? mySpace? Myspace?).

Effective immediately, I’m resigning as prime minister of the anit-myspace coalition.

See you all on the dark side.

This is the new blog.

Ok, I was on CNN.com about five minutes ago. As is typical, they have a listing of the day’s top news stories under a “Latest News” heading on the right side of the page.

At first glance the news of the day seems pretty innocuous. For example, the headline of the second story is “‘Behavior of Concern’ Turns Plane Back.” Apparently on a flight in Europe someone went a little crazy and the pilots decided to land the plane in Amsterdam. Whether it was ten Arabs armed to the teeth or a crazy old lady from Las Vegas who decided to pee on the carpet, I’m not sure. It might have been an unruly backpacker dissatisfied with his Mott’s Tomato Juice. I don’t know. But given the latest ‘liquid explosive’ terror developments in Europe, this story seems entirely newsworthy.
Another story’s headline goes something like this:

“Oops! $50 Million In Checks Sent Out By Mistake.”

I guess that’s interesting to some people. The only way I’d read about it, though, is if one of those checks had showed up in my mailbox today. Seeing as how the only mail I received today was my Capital One bill and a check from Austin College imploring me to donate more than $10 to my alma mater, I chose not to click the link. But following the story about the retard who gave away $50 million is where the true gold lies.

Plug in the drum machine and hit the little button that says ‘drum roll.’

The next headline on CNN.com on today, August 23, 2006, is as follows:

Aztecs Butchered, Ate Spanish Invaders”

CNN, the news network that has long billed itself as the leader in “Breaking News,” has apparently decided that 487 years is long enough to wait to inform its readership that yes, the rumors are true, when the Spanish tried to invade Mexico in 1519 (1519!) they were met with a little cannibalism. Either that or some assholes from Madrid are invading Cancun right now and fending off hoards of hungry, cannibalistic descendants of Aztecs. Who knows?

I wonder what’s next for CNN.com.

“Wright Brothers At It Again: Orville and Wilbur Plan To Test New Bicycle With Wings at Kitty Hawk”

Or maybe, “Eli Whitney Invents Cotton Gin, Blacks Fucked Over”

Or perhaps, “Gutenberg Adds ‘Times New Roman’ to Font List”

CNN. America’s news network.